JULY 2002

JULY 2002

1 July 2002

New George Michael song calls Tony Blair Bush's poodle

If September 11 repression

Had left you in throes of depression

Then on you should log

For the song "Shoot the Dog"

With fingers crossed, for free expression.

1 July 2002

Bush: voucher decision "just as historic" as Brown v. Topeka

George's claim the decision's historic

Is not merely words allegoric;

Restoring the legal

"Separate but equal"

Standard makes racists euphoric.

1 July 2002

Bush tersely signs debt-limit increase

It's clear that our make-believe POTUS

Is hoping that no one will notice

That fiscal disaster

Came deeper and faster

Than promised last spring when he snowed us.

1 July 2002

J.C. Watts (R-Okla) bowing out

When a Gop shoo-in says he's exhausted

One thing to assume is he's lost it;

He no longer can take

The day-to-day fake

Or else check for bones in his closet.

1 July 2002

Bush Bear Market continues its merry way

The top guys ain't nothin' but crooks

The accountants finagle the books

Foreign investors

And human egg-nesters

Figured out that they're taken for schnooks.

2 July 2002

Bush blows off questions about his insider trading

"Of course my behavior was 'vetted'

The S.E.C. chief was indebted

To my Dad, the Prez,

So the crime was suppressed--

And the papers have long since been shredded."

2 July 2002

Bush continues to slam International Criminal Court

"If you read today's headlines, you'll see

Why I must veto I.C.C.--

A Court with a role

Beyond my control

Would probably soon indict me."

2 June 2002

NYT: FBI stalling, wrecking case against anthrax terrorist

The theory in the New York Times

Is that G-Men know who did the crimes

But they're kind of clannish;

They'll let evidence vanish

Lest the Bureau be touched by the slime.

The Times writer also suggests

The anthrax was sent, on a quest

To remind the nation

That inoculation

Is the anthrax cure that works the best.

That is, the intent was benign

Mailing poisons to Senators, fine

The people who died

Did so to provide

The rest of us with warning sign.

This kind of preposterous plan

Might be thought up by one crazy man

But our C.I.A.

Equally may

Have been there when this all began.

3 July 2002

States trying to cope with budget crisis emanting from D.C.

Nobody thought or predicted--

Our sovereign states are addicted

To federal funds

For programs they run

The hardships will now be inflicted.

This won't affect Georgie, of course

Who blithely sits on his white horse--

Layoffs at schools,

Cops, parks and pools

All by his tax cut were forced.

4 July 2002

Bush "defends" Pledge of Allegiance for the Fourth of July

Let me go out on a ledge

And proclaim my disdain for the Pledge.

Its biggest effect

Is to erode respect

So patriotism is quenched.

In grade school I learned its main lesson:

"Just do what you're told and don't question.

Hand on your heart,

Stand up straight, and look smart

And learn all the words without guessin'."

No teacher in all of the crew

Seemed to think explanation was due.

Pledging allegiance

Resembled religions--

'Twas a rite that we had to get through.

"Under God" for sure should be removed

But not because ACLU'd;

Two seconds are saved

Per kid, and per day

Yielding thousands of hours accrued.

Those proclaiming concern for the Pledge

Are just partisans seeking an edge.

If we'd met in fourth grade

I'm quite sure that they'd

Have admitted the things I allege.

5 July 2002

Senator Collins first out the gate with "Pledge" reelection ad

Senator Collins, R-Maine

Is the first to take up the refrain

She's using the Pledge

As entering wedge;

Off the table the issues remain.

5 July 2002

Iraq invasion plans back on front burner

Forget about Pledge of Allegiance

On guard against free-thinking deviance

King George's attack

Plans for Iraq

Add up to a Pledge of Belligerence.

5 July 2002

Bush's Harken defense: "I know nothing! Nooooothing!!"

Bush joins a long line of execs

Attempting to save their own necks

They claim to know nothing

To see if we're bluffing

And to see what's in store for them next.

This amnesiac chorus defaults

To the ploy we can call "Sergeant Schulz;"

Pretend you don't see

So that you cannot be

Held accountable for the results.

6 July 2002

Bush v. CEO bad actors: Speak loudly, carry small stick

Are the CEOs trembling with fright

As they contemplate strict oversight?

Somehow I must doubt--

Of George, they've found out

His barking is worse than his bite.

6 July 2002

Cubs fire Baylor

The Cubbies have fired Don Baylor,

But don't even think him a failure;

If anyone's failed

It's Andy McPhail

Who's kicked himself in genitalia.

8 July 2002

Carrie Meek (D-Fla) to retire; son will seek her seat

Carrie Meek's going back to her hearth

But don't fear a Democrat dearth;

Her son is a shoo-in

To the job that he grew in;

The Meek will inherit the berth.

8 July 2002

Senate Committee says Enron Board "closed its eyes"

It happens so often, it's trendy;

The Committee reached modus vivendi

And quite gently hectored

Enron's directors

In deference to Phil and to Wendy.

8 July 2002

Harken scandal may have legs

Bush wants you to think that the storm

Is all about late-filed forms;

The forms would have shown

Profits had grown

Thanks to fraud, in excess of the norm.

9 July 2002

Markets contemn Bush's corporate crackdown speech

As Bush read his corporate speech

The markets found new lows to reach

His proposals are toothless

And executives ruthless

Will laugh as the new regs they breach.

9 July 2002

Prominent blacks say Powell, Rice are "tokens"

Said Bush, "I support civil rights;

Just look! I have Powell and Rice--

Their counsel I trust

'Cept when Dad says I must

Ignore them just like I do whites."

10 July 2002

Cokie, et al are wrong: Bush was not exonerated by S.E.C. for Harken deal

The S.E.C.'s letter clearly stated;

Bush never was "exonerated"

But it seems N.P.R.

Is not straying too far

From the talking points Karl created.

10 July 2002

Limbaugh sounds the call: Blame Bill Clinton!

The Dittoheads all know the script

When someone with facts is equipped

Just scream out, "Slick Willie!!"

Repeatedly, 'til he

Gives up, thereby proving he's whipped.

But they're right! G.O.P. C.E.O.'s

Are known to be highly disposed

In matters of conscience

To govern their penchants

By cues from the White House imposed.

King George is now giving the cues:

"Cook the books! You have nothing to lose!

You'll never regret it

Like me, you'll be vetted

'Cause the president's in on it, too!"

10 July 2002

All-Star game called in 11th, tied 7-7

The game would have gone until morning,

But the National League, without warning

Petitioned for cert,

Scalia concurred;

His view was quite quick in its forming.

"Great and irreparable damage

Would result from a fight to the finish;

Pet. has this won--

If Resp. gets more runs

Pet.'s record is unduly blemished."

The Court split in old coalitions;

Declaring, in manner patrician

And logic oblique,

The National League

Had won, 5-4, by decision.

11 July 2002

Bush benefited from same sweetheart loans he would now ban

Insider loans for execs

May be second only to sex

As primeval drive

For execs to survive

With the lifestyle each one expects.

Bush shares in the corporate views

That him who shall snooze shall then lose;

Says he, "Don't you whine

Just because I got mine!

You'd-a done the same thing in my shoes!"

11 July 2002

Details of Bush's Texas Rangers stadium deal resurfacing

W promised to fight

To defend private property rights;

That's now, but back then

He was glad to condemn

The land on which he had his sights.

When a partner in the Texas Rangers

He warned of political dangers;

To get a new stadium

He made ultimatium

And threatened to sell out to strangers.

The government duly condemned

Hundreds of acres of land;

For "The Ballpark" a few

And the rest would go to

Pure profit for Bush and his friends.

12 July 2002

Market battered; Bush speech at best no help

The Dow Jones did nothin' but fall

Despite Bush's clarion call

And reiteration

Of "self-regulation"

But of real reform, none at all.

12 July 2002

Pitt won't release Harken file; "mystery buyer" undisclosed

There are plenty of angles to run with

And rumors and talk to have fun with;

When everyone's guessin'

The pragmatic lesson

Is to come clean so it's over and done with.

12 July 2002

GOP House Campaign Committee has twice the cash of Dems' Committee

It's only four months 'til the voting

And the G.O.P. is loudly gloating;

"We have so much money

It just won't be funny;

The Dems will be belly-up, floating."

But the Dems major ace in the hole's

Their dominance of voter rolls;

Let the G.O.P. blitz

With TV and glitz

What matters is folks at the polls.

13 July 2002

Bush: investor confidence must be restored

"Confidence must be restored,

And partisanship be deplored;"

King George's maneuver

Didn't work for Herb Hoover

And, like Hoover will George be ignored.

16 July 2002
Bush's "lockup letter" promised Harken he wouldn't sell
The alibi on which Bush banked,
That long before Harken stock tanked
He'd planned his big sale,
Miserably fails
Like a long drive that's clumsily shanked.

With sale plans firmly in place
You'd expect that some questions be raised
When the Board sent a letter
Imposing strict fetters
On sales for one-eighty days.

From George, no such questions forthcame
But he thinks that we'll swallow his claim
That his sale plans
Were very advanced
When he sold to cash in on his name.

16 July 2002

Bush releases Homeland Security blueprint
Today's Weapon of Mass Distraction
Has something to irk every faction;
So we'll stop remarkin'
On Pitt, Bush and Harken
And other such trivial actions.

16 July 2002

House passes relatively tough securities-fraud bill
I s'pose that we all must applaud
The House bill on combatting fraud
Some G.O.P. tricks
Went into the mix
But on balance, it's something to laud.

My cynical nature's a curse;
I suspect that they've planned something worse
Will adequate funds
Be forthcoming, once
Their image to health has been nursed?

16 July 2002

Lindh cops a plea; faces 20-year maximum
The A.G. and John Walker Lindh
Perceived the fine mess they were in;
We have to surmise
That their compromise
Appears to each side a win-win.

For Lindh, though, the value seems small;
He'll spend 20 years behind walls
That's less than the max,
But the A.G.'s weak facts
Meant he may have served no time at all.

16 July 2002

Rumsfeld wants crackdown on classified info leaks
Like all of the Bush control freaks
Don Rumsfeld just hates all those leaks;
The security danger's
That friends, foes or strangers
Might discover his management reeks.

16 July 2002

Join Citizen Corps, spy on your friends and neighbors
John Ashcroft says he will rely
On a network of volunteer spies;
If you fall from favor
Of ex-friend or neighbor
You'll be hearing from the FBI.

17 July 2002

Bush: S.E.C. will "exonerate" Cheney, Halliburton

"I'm predicting that my S.E.C.

Exonerates Cheney and me;

They'll whitewash a while,

Then nod, wink and smile

And say we're as clean as can be."

17 July 2002

Postal Service won't join TIPS program

Bush wanted the postmen in TIPS

So, as they made their daily trips

They'd keep a close eye

On al-Qaida spies

And note any terrorist ZIPs.

It's surprising that the Postal Service

Missed this chance to make like Melvin Purvis;

It would have done wonders

For covering blunders--

People would, to complain, be too nervous.

17 July 2002

Post: Bush polls "virtually unchanged" from last month

The Post must believe it controls

The movement in King George's polls;

Like Canute and the tide

Their command's been applied

But the downward momentum still rolls.

18 July 2002

Roll Call: Gephardt predicting 40-vote Dem House majority in November

Dick G's feeling pumped up and sporty

'Bout the prospects of his new major'ty;

He'll be in a fix

If he counts his chicks

'Specially if he's counting forty!

18 July 2002

Judge won't let Moussaoui plead guilty

Alone in the court, self-reliant

He'd advised himself to be compliant;

But the judge disagreed

And turned down his plea

Whilst he has a fool for a client.

19 July 2002

Dow almost cracks 8000, first time since 10/98

The bears are outrunning the steers

Exponentially stoking our fears;

George "Dubya" Hoover

Was not the prime mover

But he's in there now, earning the jeers.

The White House gets blame or gets credit

For the way the economy's headed;

But with every word

We're not reassured

As Bush shows that he just doesn't get it.

19 July 2002

18 million pounds of infected hamburger recalled

The G.O.P. House has elected

To cut funds by which beef's inspected;

"We'll have laissez-faire

Not Upton Sinclair;

So what if some folks get infected?"

21 July 2002

Ridge: Allow military to operate within U.S.

Apparently Bush think's he's caught us

'Twixt the rock and the hard place he's got us;

It ought to work fine

Keeping people in line

By repealing Posse Comitatus.

21 July 2002

Post: Bush was "deluged" with data before Harken sale

King George has been strongly insistent

From financial facts he had been distant;

He says he knew nada

'Though deluged with data;

With his lazy habits, consistent.

21 July 2002

Bush caves to fanatics, withholds $34M family planning funds from U.N.

The anti-abortionist Right

Has won without raising a fight;

Of the funds, not a portion

Pays for abortions--

The point is electoral might.

21 July 2002

Bush again rattles saber in address to military

The 10th Mountain troops at Fort Drum

Don't care if they say George is dumb

They like what they hear

And give him three cheers

'Cause they know just where he's comin' from.

21 July 2002

It's hard to keep track of all the things George denies he knew

It's more difficult to construe

The stickers proclaiming, "BUSH KNEW!"

Enron? Osama?

The deficit drama?

Or whom he sold Harken shares to?

21 July 2002

Gore: Bush lied about future deficits

When Gore's finally saying Bush lied

Its obviousness can't be denied;

It's good politics

To put well-deserved kicks

With vigor, on Bush's backside.

22 July 2002

Ashcroft asks State to label more "terrorist" organizations
If you're in a group on The List
That Ashcroft declares "terrorist"
Your foreign supporters
Will soon be deported
And your Yanks disappear in the mist.

24 July 2002

Republican, Democratic Medicare drug bills both fail
The Democrats' price tag seems steeper
Until at the Gops' plan you look deeper;
Insurers get cash
With no questions asked
And no promise pills will be cheaper.

24 July 2002

Republicans load up Homeland bill with same ol', same ol'
The Homeland Security package
Has loaded some explosive baggage;
Once more the Gop stiffs
Injured plaintiffs
And wants to let worker rights languish.

24 July 2002

Bruce Willis helps Bush promote adoption; flubs lines
The cue-card guy flipped through the pages
To help Bruce say nothing outrageous;
But it was no use;
We shouldn't blame Bruce
Ineptitude is just contagious.

24 July 2002

Pitt: it's "unthinkable to deprive people of my expertise."
It's "unthinkable," says Harvey P.,
"To deprive folks of my expertise;
Suspend Bill of Rights,
Prepare for First Strikes,
But you cannot live without me."

24 July 2002

House, Senate reach agreement on corporate reforms
The House and the Senate agree
On a law to stop future crime sprees;
It looks good today
But if we look away
It's fish bait, im-me-di-ate-ly.

24 July 2002

Stock market rallies: 6% jump in one day
Those folks with portfolio battered
Or plans for retirement shattered
Their guts say the rally
Is not peak, but valley;
Regardless of how pundits nattered.

25 July 2002

Top WorldCom execs will probably be indicted

The WorldCom executives say,

"Hey, what about Skilling and Lay?

If they ain't indicted

The inference invited--

For friends of the Prez, crime will pay."

25 July 2002

Bush: limit med-mal awards; give cash to Liddy Dole

In North Carolina, quoth George:

"If we cap malpractice awards,

Physicians inept

Will be deep in my debt

And a link to their cash will be forged."

25 July 2002

Traficant expelled from House; Condit sole "nay"

Jim Traficant ran as a Dem

But usually voted with Them;

This left him bereft

Of friends, right or left,

When the time came to vote to condemn.

25 July 2002

West Nile virus infects several Louisianians

In most cases, West Nile will

Not make you seriously ill;

But encephalitis

Or else meningitis

Will soon your complacency chill.

26 July 2002

Process server for Judicial Watch v. Cheney stymied by White House

In a submarine Dick went to hide

With the process guy waiting outside;

Refusing the service

Announces they're nervous--

They don't want this case to be tried.

26 July 2002

Princeton admissions director caught hacking Yale web site

Their football's no longer elite,

But these Ivy League schools still compete;

To be most "selective"

Is now the objective

And they will, if they must, stoop to cheat.

26 July 2002

Bush threatens veto of Homeland bill if worker rights remain

Bush told us of Homeland Security

To shroud Colleen R. in obscurity;

If he's changed his mind

He can slip from this bind

By pretending to loathe this impurity.

27 July 2002

What's George's real reason for hire/fire power in the Homeland Department?

"The Department of Internal Spies

Will be totally staffed by my guys.

How much loyalty

They render to me

Sets the speed, through the ranks, that they rise.

"Tell Waxman, Frank, Feingold and Stark

I expect them to all toe the mark.

We've ginned up some files

That show the acts vile

They do in the intimate dark.

"Tell Rather and Jennings and Koppel

That their 'independence' is hobbled.

They'll be disappeared

If scripts aren't cleared

By the agents of my new Gestapo."

27 July 2002

Bush trying to take credit for Sarbanes bill

He's using a trick tried-and-true

To take credit where credit's not due;

His claims are all truthless

He preferred a law toothless

With big loopholes drilled through and through.

27 July 2002

Con-Agra hampering CDC's e-coli efforts

To know where, regarding e-coli

The contours of the status quo lie

The CDC needs

To sample the beef

But Con-Agra, says, "No!" It's true! No lie!

29 July 2002

Bush: Work, not college for welfare moms

"I'm doing my best to abolish

The notion that 'work' equals 'college;'

Who, may I ask

Will do menial tasks

Once welfare moms have all that knowledge?"

29 July 2002

Senate puts off showdown on bankruptcy bill

The Senate's new bankruptcy bill

Includes quite a large poison pill;

Violent pro-lifers

Must still pay the piper;

They can't say "I'm bankrupt" at will.

30 July 2002

IBM to buy PwC Consulting

The Consultants of P-dubya-C

Planned to be born again overseas;

But now, Big Blue Monday

Won't do it in one day

They'll move there by careful degrees.

31 July 2002

Bushies: No October Surprise planned

The Pentagon, strategywise

On disinformation relies;

Explaining, perhaps

Credibility gaps

Denying October Surprise.

31 July 2002

Biden, Lugar head Senate hearings on Iraq invasion

Senators Lugar and Biden

Want hearings to foster unitin'--

The experts they call

Are hawks, one and all;

It's settled, except for the fightin'.

31 July 2002

Bush quietly nixes whistleblower protections in new fraud bill

The ink on the bill was not dry

When the memo came out, on the sly;

If blowing the whistle

Leads to your dismissal

You can't on the statute rely.

The Senate, both sides of the aisle

Is amazed that King George would defile

The C.E.O. bill;

But hey! George is still

An diehard executive-phile.

31 July 2002

Harken set up Caymans subsidiary on Bush's watch

The White House insists tax evasion

Was not part of Harken's equation;

The White House explained

They sought to contain

The chance that they'd lose litigation.

Directors will seek out such tricks

So shareholders' rights would be nixed;

It buys them protection

If inept direction

Causes shareholders off to be ticked.